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Sunday, December 4th, 2005


Happy Burfday to me . . .

I am now 27 . . . and lamenting the impending death of my youth. *weeps*

I think I'm going to run away and join the circus. I could be a trapeze artist. Or a contortortionest. Oooh, I bet I'd get a lot of dates.

Ok, I think I'm going to go and get a jump on a little birthday drunkeness.

*guzzles tequila* *strips*

Friday, November 18th, 2005


Hello, My Name is Sweets . . . and I'm a complete perv!

Because, why am I completely crushing on almost all the younguns in GoF? Robert Pattinson and Rupert Grint and that Krum dude. They're all so. . . strapping!
I'm so ashamed. Really.

And this is what I thought of the movie. . .Collapse )

Can you believe I cried! I'm such a dork.

Thursday, November 10th, 2005


Well, then play the resurrector and give the dead some life . . .

Look at Blaise. Is he not too pretty for words? *marvels at the pretty* Thank you, granger2malfoy for a lovely interpretation.

Anyway, I am so bloody bored at work right now. I'm thinking of prancing nekkid through the dusty halls just to keep myself awake. It's amazing, really, just a few weeks ago I was swamped. Waving the bloody white flag of surrender underneath a mountainous load of paperwork. I could have done NaNo with all the glorious free time I have, but seeing as I've missed the deadline, I'm just going to re-animate one of my neglected fics.

It's alive! Alive! Mwahahahahah . . . and stuff.

It's a canon!Blaise/Theo/Harry/Angelina fic. (Not in that order. TeeHee.) Aaaaand, there'll be singing and pr0n and crack. Yay, crack! I started this months ago but got hit by the work truck and all the inspiration just drained from my body. Meh. So now I'm loving on my fic and wondering what to call it. Maybe "Blaise and Theo and Harry and Anjelina or The Most Suckiest Title I Could Come Up With."

I think I like that.

Theo looked appraisingly at Blaise's "ensemble," which consisted of nothing more than silver hot pants, matching wrestling boots and . . . kisses?

"What happened to the glitter?"

"Well, I ran into a friend . . . and her friend . . .and his friend." Blaise waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Theo cinched his features into a dissaproving knot.

"You. Are utterly. Thoroughly. And completely. Confused."

"I'm not confused," Blaise said as he headed for the door, "I just don't indulge in gender prejudice. I'm an equal opportunity lay."

Mmm, creamy chocolate multi-racial Blaaaaaise. AND. Still with curly hair! *grins*

Friday, October 21st, 2005


When I rock the microphone, I rock the mic right.

Because my professor thinks I'm the next Shakespeare, aaand because I'm so bored I want to spork myself:


Behold! The unfinished sonnet about the merits of not sporking oneself.

Suicide, the answer is not and never

When forks and sporks in hand do tempt

To stay thy murd'rous hand, be clever

Unless you wish thine eyeball rent.

And I for one be not the lass

To wish a spectacle to see

Thine eyeball, by my foot roll past

I would that spectacle not be.

But what would thine poor mother say,

When visited by grief so black,

To learn the truth of that black day

The consequence of sense you lack.

Anybody have a couplet?



Sunday, October 9th, 2005

Buck Up Little Camper

Carry Your Own Key or One Drunken Night in a Karaoke Bar


All this talk about Better Off Dead has left me feeling a little funny. Cracktastic to be exact. So. Here be the product of my odd little mind.

Not beta'd, so no cracks about my grammar. Or obvious lack of plot or . . . well, just read it, darn you! (I mean that in the most affection way possible.)

Carry Your Own KeyCollapse )












Wednesday, September 28th, 2005


You think I didn't but I soooo did.

This is my new cover letter. I just responded to a job post on craigslist. By the way I'm completely serious.



I’m inquiring about the part-time reception position. The current combination of multiple full-time jobs—mother, account coordinator, wife, student—have left me with the desire to visit permanently the frozen dairy section of my local supermarket in order to get a little me time. Hence, my interest your position. Having worked for a number of years in advertising as well as in the arts, I have plenty of experience interacting with creative types. In fact, I might endeavor to call myself a creative type, except that it might make me sound immodest (and I am certainly above sounding immodest). In addition to my horrible sense of humor, I am also in possession of valuable skills such as:


·           The ability to locate the on/off switch on copiers, printers, computers and other business type machines.

·           The ability to tell time.

·           Knowing left from right and vice-versa.

·           Knowing that the proper response to the word “jump” is “how high?”


In conclusion, I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this e-mail and not deleting it straight off. I would love to get together sometime and talk more about the position and whether or not you consider me to be a complete lunatic.


Do you think I'll get the job?

Tuesday, August 30th, 2005


OMG, Never Mind Affection 5!!!

I'm so giddy right, now. *does giddy dance* I've finally finished NMA 5.


I thought it would never happen, but I'm farely sure I'm done. It might need a little once over before I ship it off to Fa, but it's definitely ready for the sweet pot o' honey that is my journal. So here.

Title: Never Mind Affection (5)
Author: Sweets, baby!
Pairing: Hermione/Draco
Rating: I'm thinking R.

Summary: Hermione seemed uncharacteristically calm. Maybe it was because she no longer had to worry about the possibility of Malfoy attempting to charge his way into her knickers. It's the end of an era. The last chapter of NMA.

Disclaimer: So they're not mine. They're JKR's. You wanna make sumthin' of it?

Author's Notes: Hopefully, this doesn't suck.



Never Mind Affection 5Collapse )



 And for those who like to live in the past:













Wednesday, August 24th, 2005

not really), Dancing Me! (OK

Warm up the olive oil, y'all.

I'm feeling extra sparkly today. I've got a fat stack of work done, a new imaginary beau on my arm (Omarion is so on my list.), and tomorrow I'm finally--FINALLY--registering for class. That's right, folks, ya girl is going back to college! WhooHoo! I am so excited. I've been wanting to do this for a long time and it looks like things are finally coming together!

Next on my list, finish my cover letter and kiss the ad game goodbye! I figure if I'm going to spend most of my time working it should be doing something that isn't total bullshit.

And here's were I swipe a page from skoosiepants' book.


*flips disco switch* *summons sparkly Omari* *slips on shimmery knickers* *does the bump*

Somebody scream!!!!!!!! 

Hobbe's Happy Dance

(no subject)

Ok, so I was just going to make a beautifully pointless post about my new sparkly obsession, Omarion.

You know... B2K? You Got Served? He's hot you've got to know him.

Anyway, I was about to do that when I read a post by </b></a>

And now I'm crying. And thinking.

Tamika Dash, kiss my ass . . .That's sad. I should be over it by now.Collapse )

Damn. Let's find the love. And speaking of, I think I'll lighten the mode by flashing my sparkly boy.

*flashes Omarion* *licks him*

He likes it when I do that.

Friday, August 12th, 2005

Hobbe's Happy Dance

Hello, my name is Sweets . . . and I'm a candybar dollmaker addict.

Greetings from the gawd-awful hottest room in my house!

And you guessed it--this will be a short ass post.

Originally swiped from maegunnbatt, but I've seen this everywhere.


My dolls are decidedly less . . . ethnic than I am.


</p> The little blue stars are a simble of my incredible power. :)

Sunday, August 7th, 2005


Back, huh, stronger than evah!

Greetings from south of the mason dixie, y'all!

I'm in sunny (and humid a hell!) Pensacola, FL and the livin' is easy. My hair has swollen to the size of Texas but somehow I'm still managing to have a wonderful time hangin' with my mama, eatin' myself into a coma, and affecting a charming southern drawl. I rock!

If you're wondering whatever happened to my darling husband and child, they're back in New York sweating and enjoying each others company without me . . . suckers! Hahahahahahahah. But everyone keeps asking why I didn't bring the baby. *rolls eyes* Everyone needs they're moment, peoples. Everyone. But I still miss my little munchkin. She's so amazing right now. She's talking more than ever now, and she's finally mastered going to the potty by herself. WhooHoo! *gets teary eyed* I can finally aquire the shoe wardrobe I've always wanted. Diapers are expensive, man.

Anyway, erm, about my fics. Unfortunately, they're on hiatus for now. Well, actually, for awhile, now. I've been so busy and exhausted I've barely had time to get online, let alone finish my lonely fics. I believe my muse has finally divorced me. That's why I needed this trip. I needed to get back the luuurve.
*sigh* I don't know, y'all. Maybe by the time I return I'll at least have an ending to Never Mind Affection.

All right, enough gum flappin'! I smells cake and I gots ta eat it!

Friday, May 27th, 2005

Hobbe's Happy Dance

Because I feel so luuurved.

Ok, I have, like a million things to post about, but this post is about (insert cliche drumroll here) Never Mind Affection 5. Yay!

I know for a fact there is at least one person out there who cares, sooo this little (well, ok it's actually big) snippet is for an especially Loyal Fan.

Enjoy, darling.

In which Ginny presses--but not to hard if she knows what's good for her...Collapse )

Tuesday, May 17th, 2005

Solo's Pants

(no subject)

I am a deadbeat LJ poster. I suck. Actually, I'm really just goofing off at work right now. I'm like uber busy, but I am a rebel!

I'm also a Jedi.

*performs Jedi mind trick on boss* You don't need me to come in tomorrow. Or ever... But I still get paid.

Alright, Episode III is coming out this week and being slightly doofy about it. There is this hot lightsaber at Walmart...

Um, actually, over the weekend my husband gave me a Luketorial. I finally know what the story is about. Yay! And now I'm really looking forward to seeing what the end (sort of) is going to be.

That's enough of my mindless crack-rant. 

Friday, April 29th, 2005

The British have given us so much . . .

Moses supposes his toeses are roses...

Hello out there in freaky land! I finally have time to make a proper post. Yay!

First off, 'tis the end of the month and The Challenge has been completed. Actually, it was barely completed. Actually, he gave up after the first two weeks! Why do men think they are so much better than us? When will they realize that we are perfection personified? Well, Mr. J knows. *grins* And now, after he had to do it all--take care of the house, the toddler, himself--he realizes that we actually work better when we work togeeetheeer. Instead, of him going to work and expecting me to do everything else.

Men! Gotta love 'em.

Anyway, work is going a little smoother now. Yay! No more 14 hour days. *gets a little jiggy* It was like, when they gave me this promotion, they actually expected me to work! Sigh...

But on to the fun stuff! Never Mind Affection 5 is nearly complete! (As I say once a week) I'm a bit nervous about it, though. There's *whispers* sex. I always get nervous about writing love scenes. Always. *snorts* It's really only the third one I've ever written, so "always" makes it sound like I'm experienced or something. *snorts, again* But I want to make the sex real and the emotions real, without turning it into some cheesy novel you'd by at the register in a Greyhound bus depot.

Moving on... I'm also working on a couple other fics. One is a currently unnamed Blaise and Theo fic in which Theo is very prudish and Blaise is, well, not. The other is called Carry Your Own Key, in which everyone is drunk and Harry sings.

You know, typical crackheaded stuff. TeeHee.

Okee, this post is long enough without actually managing to say anything of substance.

My work here is done.

Sunday, April 24th, 2005

Hobbe's Tongue

I'm pretty sure there are some sparkly, androgynously sextastic boy banders around here...

Someone out there in LJ land is getting piss drunk! I'm pretty sure it's skoosiepants  'cause it's her birthday! WooHoo!

Happy birthday to the biggest crackfic ho I know. Keep peddlin' the good stuff, dearie.

Monday, April 18th, 2005

Hobbe's Happy Dance

Grumble, darnit...

I think my Harry/Luna fic is not loved by all. No one's reviewed Perfectly Natural. *pouts* *whines*

Maybe it's too weird. Maybe it's too naughty. Maybe it's too sucky. *pouts, again*

Okay, but it can't be the first two. Blankets of Pansies by slytherincesss  is much weirder and naughtier--and deliciously so. *grins* So it must be...that I...SUCK! *weeps uncontrollably*

Anyway, back to my fic of the day, Blankets of Pansies, which is also mentioned on skoosiepants's website. (I've linked to the NC-17 version. Whoopee!) It features my favorite type of Harry--slightly depraved and oh-so-freakay! I just love it when Harry unleashes his inner Slytherin. But what's absolutely wunderbar about this lovely slice is that somehow Slytherincess manages to keep Harry, you know, just Harry. Or Just Harry...with an Edge, if you will.

Ok, enough fic love. Read, will you? And Review! *shakes fist at you*

Um, and I mean my fic, not slytherincesss's. She gets enough love as it is. *pouts* *grumbles* *more pouting*

Update: WooHoo! One review! And it was all about the love. Here's to you, LunaLove, wherever you are. *gets misty*

Friday, April 15th, 2005

Hobbe's Happy Dance

Changin' my Steelo...they don't even know I'm comin'!

Variety is the spice of life, friends, and I have injected a little into my journal. Check it out. But, of course, if you've never seen the old one this means nothing to you.

Sunday, April 10th, 2005

Hobbe's Tongue

'Ere, mate, 'ave a gander!

Dear, me. No matter how much I tried I still ended up thoroughly British.

Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!

How British are you?

this quiz was made by alanna

Go figure.

New Fic. WooHoo!


I'm feeling so prolific lately. I'm currently working on *counts fingers* six fics. One finished. Just for your viewing pleasure! Or just mine. :) I consider myself high when I wrote this but, um, I don't find it funny. Well, maybe a little. It's a bit...freaky. Maybe kinky? You decide.

Title: Perfectly Natural
Author: Sweets, baby!
Pairing: Harry/Luna
Rating: R
Summary: Harry has been MIA for three years. Not a phone call. Not a letter. Now, he shows up in a certain witch's bedroom who certainly wasn't expecting him. Not for the younguns.

Disclaimer: So they're not mine. They're JKR's. You wanna make sumthin' of it?

Of Guyliner and ManscaraCollapse )







Friday, April 8th, 2005

Hobbe's Happy Dance

(no subject)

Whazzup! Holla atcha girl, Sweets!

All right, I'm done.

I feel very, eh. Never Mind Affection 4 is up at Astronomy Tower. Go forth and readith. Commentith as wellith.

All right, I'm done.

So I think it's ending. I'm working on chapter 5 now and it looks like this is the last chapter. *pouts* It's so weird when the story ends. I hate to see it leave my psyche but at the same time I'm relieved it's leaving my psyche. I kept getting lost in my plot devices. *shrugs*

Anyway, I'm feeling a crack fic coming on. Harry sings. Harry is also drunk as a skunk. Harry sings while drunk as a skunk in a karoake bar. Some corniness will ensue. Unfortunately, the drunk part is here (at home) and the singing part is at work. So. No completed crack fic today. :(

The closest Harry gets to singing in the 'mostly drunk' part...Collapse )

Enjoy, Skoosie. ;)